Letting You Go

It was like any other afternoons that have passed in my life; boring, usual and uneventful. I was watching the fourth installment of Die Hard on TV5 which of course, is a tagalized version of the movie but don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against them dubbing it or maybe on second thought, I do.

Nothing was special that afternoon, I thought. Looking back, I could still affirm, indeed, it was an ordinary afternoon like any other. I was just enjoying the film with the company of my niece. On few instances, I flipped through all the channels and ended up on the same channel on all occasions so I gave up playing with the remote.
While watching the movie, my niece played with my hair. I was thinking of nothing in particular. Remembering how kikay my niece is, I can't help but try to stop her from turning me into one of her dolls and suffer from undoing my hair later that day.
To stop the inevitable bad hair day scene, I asked her to give me a hug and sit beside me. Being the sweet girl I've known her to be, she willingly obliged to my request. She hugged me and I hugged her back in response. I was still hugging her while she sat by my side and in silence, we continued watching Bruce Willis speaking Filipino. Who thought he was that good in Filipino? Well, you know what I mean and come on, there's still no law against corny jokes so give me a break.
Out of nowhere, a thought occurred to me while I was hugging her small body. An illusion about hugging a child, one particular child, while watching television on what will be my own living room. Thoughts, memories and emotions followed that one thought. It was a mad race inside my head and I started wondering, could I still have the chance to be with that one particular child.
A sudden realization crossed my mind at that exact moment. One day, I want to spend the rest of my life with a family I can call my own and I don't mean any other family but a family with that one specific kid with her mother. I want to spend the rest of my life with them.
I want to go home welcomed by the kiss of my other half and the warmth of our daughter's embrace. I want to go to bed I share with her and I want to wake up with her greeting me good morning and with a sweet smile painted on her face. I want to hear our daughter chatter to me everything that happened at school when she gets home. I want to play with our little angel when she gets bored watching cartoons. I want my baby to stop me and our angel from playing and tell us dinner is served. I want to hug her and plant a kiss on her nose before I softly whisper in her ears I love her.
I want all of those badly but then I realized, she never wanted the same thing and so, I let go. I loved her with all of me but then, I must let her go.